SOTT
(SIGNS OF THE TIMES)
I do love words. The signs that people display on shops and parks, ferries and front yards are often delightful.
“Sorry!!! We’re close,” says one. And they may be close too, maybe living upstairs. Accidents of spelling and grammar.
And accidents of seasonality. It may once have seemed important to warn about thin ice, or advertise snow removal, but times and holidays generate amnesia, and those who erected the signs now blissfully forget.
Sometimes the best signs are not accidents at all, like the wonderful notice posted by a ferry company that for safety reasons refuses to carry propane cylinders. “Resistance,” they announce in mock-authoritarian tone, “is futile.”
Or the charmingly elaborate threat to provide unattended children with a cup of espresso and a puppy before returning them to their parents. I love the false ferocity that, all the same, puts adults on notice.
Most signs, I suppose, are pure function, just doing their job of informing us about speed limits or furniture sales, but a few catch our attention by making us chuckle or revealing something about these times we live in.
“Here doggie. Here doggie. I’m sorry but I see you don’t have your leash. I’m going to have to request that you leave the property right away. Listen, stop snarling. it’s not my idea. The management put up that sign, and I have to enforce it. So, doggie, could you leave right now? No? Okay then. But I want the record to show that I did ask.”
When in doubt about the correct orientation, just hurry up and finish the job.
Hey, traffic personnel, I hear that pedestrians are really stuck on you!
Just move the N to reverse the meaning.
I feel very close to crying.
Meaning that mere “pedestrians” are allowed to use the driveway?
